Moving From

     I was planning on writing a much different blog than this tonight. I wanted to wait until this season of healing had ended to write, but that is obviously not God's plan for me tonight. Working through this season has been the most humbling few months of my entire life. I'm thankful for being able to be in South Carolina for much of this time. The Lord's been able to open my eyes more clearly being there. But something about being home- as much joy as it does bring- also reminds me of the brokenness I felt when I left in August.
     God has been working tirelessly on my heart- there is a LOT to work on. I'd been so resistant to His will, and He's been revealing that to me lately. I didn't realize how many things in this life I hold so tightly to. Basically, everything. But as He continues to bring me lovingly back again and again to this place of brokenness, I continue to realize where He's taking me- and becoming more and more excited for that in a way I could never have been before.

      Last night I was ready to write about moving on. Moving on to this next, very different, chapter of my life that God has in store for me. But I haven't left this season of healing quite yet. Me and Him are still going to have to work through a few more wars in my heart until I'll actively embark on his true desire for my life. But the most important part of these last few months, is that I've decided to go with Him all the way. Right now, God and I are focusing on moving from. To move from what I thought my life should look like- to finally surrender the things I held on to so tightly. There was a point when I felt I had lost so much of myself that I just turned to Him and said, "Okay, God. All I want for my life are Your plans for me". That's exactly where He needed me. So now, I hold loosely. To what other people think, to my reputation, to being in a relationship, to my future, to a career planning weddings, to living in South Carolina my whole life, to getting married one day, to having kids. I consider every plan I have with a "Lord willing" at the end of it. Because what this place of brokenness allows me to realize is that I don't want God to have to bring me here. I don't want Him to have to pry my idols from my fingers. I want to know where He wants to send me, and just go.
      So as I sit here tonight, realizing how absolutely drowned in sin I truly am, I am thankful that God is a God of second chances. That He loves me enough to go after my heart when I don't yield to His desires. That He still wants me to follow Him though I have completely and utterly hidden myself from Him, run away and disregarded everything He's ever done for me. So I'm moving from. From a life that's partly His will but mostly mine, from a heart that tunes out His voice when it's not what I want to hear. Because at the end of the day, a God that pursues me with the kind of love He does is the only voice I want to hear, and most certainly the only voice I want to follow.
      And that's the thing that God wants from me- to follow Him. That's the only way I am assured to be protected: when I'm within His perfect will.
      So I challenge the few people that actually read this blog (if any!?), where is God tugging at your heart? Where have you forfeited His plans for yours? What in your life is too important to give up? What relationship, job, reputation, fear is He asking you to lay down and let Him take over? What parts of your life make you cringe about having to let go of, even though you know you should? Great things come to those who deny their own desires and walk with blind faith into the absolutely unfathomably good path that our Creator has set out for us- no matter how hard, no matter how many sacrifices. The fact is, God just loves us way too much to leave us where we are. And usually, where we are is nowhere close to where He desires us to be. I'm telling this to myself  just as much (if not more) as I am to you. Move from. Move from what stands in the way of the big plans God has for you. Move from what stands in the way of a life that is recklessly abandoned and ready for the greatest adventure you could ever imagine. Because that's what God has in store for those who move on. And moving on begins with moving from.

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18