This Valentine's Day is such a blessing to me. I'm overwhelmed at the peace I have-such a sweet satisfaction. Jesus and I have gone through months and months of me and my stubborn self. I've cried to Him, felt overwhelmed by confliction, completely doubted His faithfulness and strayed back and forth from Him so many times. I've tried to make up for my inadequacy, only to fail again. I've tried to push past any brokenness, just wanting so desperately to be strong.
But He lovingly takes me back. Every time. He takes me back to the places it hurts and heals me from the inside out. He takes away the things I think I want and gives me what He knows I need. He doesn't let me skim past my doubts and struggles because He wants me to experience true freedom, not temporary relief. And when I think He's not enough, He shows me what it means to be completely satisfied. Jesus has walked me through every time I turn away from Him. He's shown me Satan's lies that tell me that what God takes away He will not give back to a greater extent. He's shown me His truth- that He truly has carried me through times I honestly couldn't see His hand at all.
Step by step, day by day, I feel more of Christ's love and forgiveness wash over me. The more I learn about Him, the more I realize how undeserving I am to have His unconditional love. There are some times I know exactly what He wants me to do and I do the opposite?! A+ Christian right here. But he knows the depths of my sin and disobedience, He knows exactly how slowly I'm growing. And He still pursues me. It blows my mind. What kind of God loves that fully? What kind of God is so okay with my honesty? Some mornings I wake up and don't feel at all like talking to my Creator. And I can just pray for the desire to talk to Him and read His Word and He'll give it to me. It's crazy. He makes up for every place I lack. He meets me where I am and heals me, walks with me, guides me, disciplines me and strengthens me.
This Valentines Day, I'm so joyful. More than I've ever been, but not more than I ever will be. I can't wait to discover the height and length and depth of His love for me. He has revealed to me His faithfulness in places I didn't think that He had been faithful. He has let me feel His presence when I couldn't before. He has let me hear Him when I felt He was silent before. And more than anything else, he pursues me. Every single time. After every single mistake. On my best days, on my worst days. He knows the most awful parts of my heart and He wants me more than anyone else in this world could ever want me. What else could I ever ask for? What else could I ever need? In the past I've been blessed with the sweet privilege of having a guy to share Valentines Day with, and Lord willing I will again in the future. But that's what it will be- a privilege, a little extra blessing. My true birthright and benefit is getting to spend today and every day as a daughter of the King- to experience His plans falling into place, to enjoy His presence, to talk to Him and have Him respond, to be washed in His forgiveness and covered in his abundant love that never runs out on me. All I want to do is fall more and more in love with Him every single day. I crave his Word and His presence because I've felt what it's like. And there is nothing in this life I want more than to be held in His hands. I know that today and every day I have never gone too far to out run His grace. And that is all I could ever want or need. Best Valentine's Day ever, y'all. Jesus' sweet love is so satisfying, and so much more than enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment